Schrödinger's Cat
by Vague Apparitions
Summary: When Danny is in need of a job, he finds himself as a test subject in a deadly experiment. A Danny Phantom/Portal crossover.


**Disclaimer:**_ Butch Hartman owns Danny Phantom. I don't. Valve owns Portal. I don't._

**Author's Notes:** _I wanted to write a crossover based on a role-play my friend and I did. I modified the role-play so it translated into a crossover story well. I hope you like it!_

* * *

He'd just wanted a job, really. It wasn't easy; finding a job is never an easy task. Danny had applied everywhere and anywhere, in person and online, just to see how many people would call him for an interview. A few had, but none had ever called him after they'd interviewed him. Danny wasn't surprised; the scrutinizing looks he'd received during most, if not all, of his interviews told him enough.

Still, he was disheartened that he couldn't find a real, paying job. After all, he'd just graduated from high school and some college money would be nice. Unfortunately, the job listings seemed to all be lies, as it didn't seem that anyone was _actually_ hiring.

That was until he'd received an e-mail from one of the places he'd applied to; at least, he had _assumed_ that it was from one of the places he'd applied to, since he'd applied to an awful lot of them. They were considering him for employment, and requested that he arrive at the lab for an interview. Naturally, he went.

_"Did you know that your heart, even when beating this fast, is still slower than the heartbeat of a normal, living human? We've been monitoring it; it's been proven by science that you're actually less alive than everybody else. I thought you might find that interesting."_

He wished he hadn't applied at all, now. He wished he hadn't shown up for an interview, hadn't believed that this was a real job, hadn't done everything_ she_ had said to do… He thought it was cool, at first, that the interviewing was done by a computer. Very high-tech. Only for a minute did he consider the absence of any actual personnel weird. He was instructed to change into a uniform, and then he was told to sit in a strange-looking chair, and then… darkness.

_"Congratulations on completing the last test — and by 'congratulations,' I mean to congratulate you on your exceptional laziness for slipping through another test and yielding no useful information. You're so great at that."_

He could have been there for days, weeks, months, years… It was difficult to tell. He'd been in stasis for some time. When he finally woke up, he was forced to do things such as put cubes on buttons and redirect lasers and dodge robots… It was much easier with his powers, to say the least, but Danny didn't think his "supervisor" approved of it — and it became very clear that it —_ she?_ — didn't approve of _him_, judging from the way she spoke to him.

The day Danny had run into her was a complete accident. He was going through the facility, through test chamber after test chamber, trying to find some sort of answer as to what was going on there. He eventually came across a huge room with a gigantic, metal thing hanging from the ceiling, which suddenly came to life. It looked at him closely, and said, annoyed, "Oh, I see you've taken a break from doing absolutely nothing and breezing through the facility to find me. I'm glad you've finally accomplished something."

Not knowing what to do or say, Danny simply looked up at her and said, "Um, thank you? So, uh, you're the voice that's been talking to me, huh? What the heck is going on here!?"

"Science, obviously — which _you_ seem particularly good at hindering."

"Okay, but you can't just trap peo-"

"While you're here," the computer interrupted, "there's one experiment that needs taking care of… I've taken the liberty of doing some research, and I think I can modify an old, favorite experiment to suit the… _situation_. Have you ever heard of Schrödinger's cat? Of course you haven't; I've seen all of your files, and you're not very smart. It involves a box, a cat that's alive and dead at the same time, and deadly neurotoxin."

As it spoke, four glass walls and a ceiling were placed around Danny, forming a box. He began to panic at the prospect of being trapped, and attempted to phase through the box, to no avail: it was ghostproof. He began to use sheer force to break free, but nothing he did would even put a crack in the thick walls surrounding him. As he struggled, several hoses attached themselves to circular vents on the box.

"Did you really think that would work? I've taken as many precautions as necessary, and then some. But don't worry. Neurotoxin, being a gas, isn't very deadly for ghosts. That's why we had to substitute for something much deadlier. For you. I hope you feel special."

With that, a pink-tinged smoke began to seep through the vents, thick and opaque and stinking of chemicals. Almost immediately, Danny's muscles contracted sharply, and he found himself shaking and coughing. Even the slightest whiff of the cloud set his insides on fire, with an intense burning in his nose, throat, and lungs. His flesh crawled at first, and then it felt as if it had been scorched by the Sun. His eyes were tearing in a vain attempt at trying to douse the flames he felt. In a matter of minutes, he was writhing on the floor, his body convulsing in pain and his screams filling the chamber.

"I forgot how it feels to test on something at least somewhat living," the computer said. "It's so much more satisfying than using robots… If you're still partially alive, I hope you're having fun. I know how much you enjoy blood blossoms, so I took the liberty of taking the chemical compound in them that harms ghosts, synthesizing it, and seeing what it might do to you. Think of it as blood blossom extract — made just for you, because you love it so much."

Danny simply laid on the floor, breathing shallowly. Every inch of his body ached and burned worse than he had ever imagined it could, feeling a pain so intense that he was incapable of even screaming or writhing any more.

"And, since you're really alive and dead at the same time," GLaDOS continued, "this experiment could go on forever — or at least until someone opens the box."

Through his tears and the thickening fog, Danny could barely see anything. He fought to keep his eyes open, tried to keep his consciousness, tried to not fail this test. And then…

Darkness.


End file.
